So, I’ve been toying with the idea of starting to blog again for a while now, but have failed to do anything about it, mostly because I haven’t really had the internet at home. I still don’t really have the internet at home, but I’ve acquired a new determination to start blogging again (although who knows how long that will last). So much has happened since I last blogged: I’ve graduated, got a job and – yays! – got engaged.* Basically, I have become a Grown Up.
It’s weird how conscious a transition this has been for me. I remember starting to feel like an adult while I was at university – the defining moment being when I was reading my niece a bedtime story and something I said made her stop and say in a puzzled voice, “Auntie Chrissy, how old are you?” When I told her I was twenty she looked a bit shocked and said with deep surprise, “You’re a grown-up!” It was kind of depressing (but mainly just endearing).
Quite a lot of people I know have had defining moments like this, although they seem more often to involve being referred to as a ‘lady’ by strangers than as a ‘grown-up’ by tiny relatives. One of my best friends from college told me about the time when she was having fun in a playground and heard a passing child say, “Mummy, mummy, that lady went down the slide!”, which sounds both hilarious and demoralising. That sort of experience seems like a common first milestone, but more recently, finding myself having conversations about interest rates and the best time to buy a house has been distinctly more terrifying, and made me feel different about myself in a much more fundamental way.
I guess the thought I’m rambling around here is that I’d always assumed growing up was something that just happened to you so gradually that you didn’t really notice it – and certainly too gradually to be able to point to the exact moment you realised you were not in Kansas any more. I guess it’s not surprising that you should feel a sudden step change when you get your first job, rent your first house, go to a school-friend’s wedding and get engaged yourself in the space of a few months. So is it just the fact that everything’s sort of come at once for me, or does this sound familiar to other people too? I’m aware that since I haven’t blogged for about three millennia I’m unlikely to get an answer to this, but I just thought I’d throw it out there…
Oh, and don’t worry, my future posts will be less boring and self-indulgent. Well, hopefully. I can’t make any promises now that I’m apparently all of a sudden a boring old git who thinks discussing mortgages is an acceptable way to behave.
* If there is anyone who I really ought to have told about this but who is forced to find out about it through my blog, I can only grovel. Please forgive me. Next time I see you I will blind you with my sparkly sparkly ring and you will forget your iratitude. Honest.
