How to waste paper in four easy steps

I've been meaning to blog about this for ages, because it bugs me every time I print anything, but I just never seemed to get round to it. And in many ways, this is a silly time to do it, as I've had a migraine all morning and I should be working. Ah well, that's procrastination for you. It's a fickle mistress, as they say.

Anyway. The printer that came with my laptop has a nice shiny feature to make double-sided printing really easy. Which is nice. All you have to do is click "I Want To... print on both sides of the paper", and it sorts it all out for you. All you have to do is reload the paper half way through to print on the other side.

This brings me on to my one gripe with this otherwise lovely feature. Maybe it's just me and my tree-hugging ways, but surely the reason most people want to print on both sides of the paper is because it, well, saves paper? It's so obvious it doesn't really need stating. So why, in God's name, does it assume that unless you explicitly un-tick the box, you want it to 'print instruction page to assist in reloading'? I mean, I can understand that working out which way the paper has to go back in might be tricky. But anyone who has problems on that front is very well provided for by the helpful little dialogue box that pops up on the screen showing you exactly how to reload the paper. Now, I don't know what the instruction page says, because I've never printed it, but I can't imagine it says anything substantially different from what's already on the screen. So why is it there, other than because it would be quite nicely ironic if it wasn't so bloody annoying? Why??

Ridiculous Signs of Stratford-upon-Avon

Well, after a long absence broken only by a token post prompted largely by a mini-whine from David at the Lion King Party, I'm finally blogging properly at last. All cheer, etc. And just to say sorry for my recent rubbishness, I thought I'd bring you the Avocados-on-Toast exclusive guide to the many ridiculous signs of Stratford-upon-Avon, where I've been on holiday with Mark for the past few days.

I suppose normal people on holiday in Stratford would take lots of photos of pretty riverside scenes and Shakespeareyness, and in fairness, we did quite a bit of that. But a probably-larger-than-sane proportion of our holiday photos consist of the various hilarious and/or foolish signs we saw whilst out and about, mostly on our ten-mile hike along the Avon, undertaken backwards from a twenty-year-old guide book (but that's another post). And thanks to the wonders of modern technology, here they are for your entertainment. (You might need to click to see the enlarged versions to fully appreciate / actually read the signs - I can't be bothered to resize them now.)



In case you can't see from the photo, this fence is plainly not electrified. In fact, it is made of some kind of bandage-like material, and was in fact knotted together in a few places.



Never mind a bull in a china shop, this is just a recipe for disaster...



Please drive carefully, children...



Keep out of where, exactly? I think this sign is even better than this one (hilarious 'no fishing' signs seem to just follow us around).



This is plainly the best name for a fencing company ever.



...And this is plainly the best name for a take-away pizza place ever.

Well, that's all for now, folks. Join us again for more hilarious signs next time me and Mark go on holiday together - for some reason they tend to gravitate towards us...